If you know my schedule you’ll know that right now I’m so damn bored. And in my boredom I remember a bus ride I once took.
Some background info. I travel alot. Some trips are work related, some family-matter related and some are just plain dog-leg related. And I do most of them by bus and quite a few by night. The problem I always had was why in ALL these trips I had had all manner of seat mates EXCEPT a fine boy. Well, on this night’s trip that was going to change.
Now, I had been seen off to the park that evening by my assistant boyfriend. He had to leave me there unattended and return to his base due to some “this and that” (sorry I cant be more specific, he might one day read this story and he’s not supposed to know he was an assistant!). Sha, it was just as well that he left when he did coz there was an absolutely, lip-licking, gorgoeus hunk hanging around and Asst Boyfriend was distracting me.
Exit Asst Boyfriend. Eyes closed, I’m on my knees (in my heart) bargaining with God: I’ll repent of all my many sins if only Fineboy is my sit mate for the night. Then, Isaiah 65:24, Fineboy’s sitting opposit me asking to see my paper! God bless the day I started watching football because he starts the discussion with “Its not everyday you find a girl that likes sports” (my paper was Complete Sports).
At this point, permit me to digress. Women, two sure ways to get the guy: wear a football jersey (that you can defend, oh!) or carry a sports paper. Always works!
So, where was I? Yes, so Fineboy turns out to be a fan of an opposing football club and so I start off an argument being careful to roll out all the names, facts and stats I know. It works, he’s impressed! I know because he asks for my name and number. I give him the name, but hold on to the number, you know, we shouldnt be too obvious now, should we?
Its now time to board the bus. His seat number is 37, mine is 13. Sh*t, I should have given him the number! I’m hoping Isaiah 65:24 works again and I pray he asks for my number again before we get to the door…
Two people to go on the queue and he still hasnt asked. The donkey is still boring me with football talk, how slow can one be??? Its our turn to enter and he still hasnt asked. Sigh. Oh well, I resign myself to the extremely fat lady I see on seat number 14.
The bus is still stationary and I’m kicking myself for not giving Fineboy my number when someone taps me on the shoulder from behind. “You dropped this”. Its Fineboy! Am so surprised and overjoyed that I forget that my own hanky was once white while the one he’s handing me is light pink with flowers and new. I take it and say thanks while he goes back to his sit. I sit there stupidly for a few minutes before a thought strikes me, then with a rush of blood to the head I unfold the hanky! Yippee!! Just like I thought, its there at a corner
(sorry I cant use names or numbers, u know, now). Then with a song in my heart, I send him a text saying “nice one”, understatement is the name of the game, u know. “Thanx” is his reply, the guy knows his onions. As if on cue, Fatlady-on-14 asks me if I mind sitting on the isle sit while she takes my window sit because “u see as I dey sweat, my sister”. “Sorry, I cant”, I say, “BUT”, I add quickly “I have someone behind with a window seat that wants to swap, should I tell him?”. She nods between wipes and wipes of sweat. I quickly call Fineboy and ask him if he’s still interested in changing seats. Credit to him, he didnt ask questions beyond “to ur seat?”. And in 5 mins my prayers were answered, I had a fine boy seat mate for a NIGHT journey!
Well, all went well for the beginning part of the trip. We talked about this and that for the first few hours, I mentioned that I cant sleep sitting up and he was quick to offer his lap and such and such…
So, here I am, in this state of blissful Nirvana when out of the blue he asks me this question: “do you shave?”. My antennae go up, “shave what?”. “Your armpits”, he says. I drop a few feet from cloud 9 and ask him why. He says “because I dont like shaved armpits”. I drop a few more feet and ask him why again. “because I like the smell. Can I sniff yours?”. CRASH!!
And we were just in Lokoja, going ALL the way to Port Harcourt!
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