I Will Save You

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My boss wants to marry me.  No, don’t hold your head and shout, now, I want to marry him too.  In fact, I have the proposal all planned out, down to the restaurant he’ll take me to on my birthday and the shirt he’ll wear when he pops the question.  It will be that sky blue shirt I bought but haven’t given him yet, I’m waiting for the opportune time.  Yes, I know it’s strange that I’m the one planning the proposal but it has to be this way, you see, because my boss wants to marry me but he doesn’t know it yet.

Ours is a match made in heaven, I want him and I’ll get him and that’s all that matters.  Kola… I like to sit at my desk and dreamily say his name; I imagine calling it out in the throes of passion… Sigh.  He insists that I call him Mr Adebowale, though, and I comply for now even though it’s all quite silly.  I mean, I’m his wife to be!  I don’t know why he plays these games, really, I want him and he has no say in the matter.

Just yesterday I wore that little black skirt and see through blouse, the set I bought just for him.  I looked good enough to eat, but he walked past me pretending not to notice.  I mean, he is a man, how could he not notice?  He wanted to rip them off me and make love to me right there on the office floor.  He just doesn’t know that yet.  When I went into his office to take the morning dictations I purposely sat next to him on the sofa making sure my bare thigh brushed against his hand, he jumped up like he’d been touched by fire, adjusted his tie and ordered me out of the office mumbling something about recording the dictations instead.  You see what I mean?  Barely concealed passion.  A lot of times he tries to masquerade the passion as anger when I lean too close to him or speak so quietly that he has to lean towards me to hear.  When he shouts at me I just smile and forgive him for he knows not what he does.  He’s never eaten the snacks I bake for him, always shares them out to the other secretaries, but that’s ok, I know he’s waiting for a time when he can eat my meals, cooked in our own home.  He’s tried to get me transferred, to get a different secretary, but I’m sleeping with the chairman and so I stayed put.  I wonder why he hasn’t realized that I always get what I want.

Oh, did I forget to mention his wife?  Well, if you can call that 6ft tall, skinny as a rake boobless wonder a wife.  Her name is Chika and I wonder why she torments our Kola with that body every night when I know he’d rather have this 5ft 8” curvaceous wonder that is me.  He claims to love her, even pretends to get agitated when I make sure work keeps us back in the office till late.  I told you she has bewitched him, if she hadn’t why would he want to bring the house down because I kept him at work till just 9pm.  Isn’t he a man? Chika the witch, that’s what I like to call her.  She thinks I can’t see through her submissive wife act into her wicked soul.  I know she trapped Kola into that marriage, Lara their little girl was born just 5 months after the wedding.  Then she decided to quit her job, claiming she wanted to watch the home front so he could focus on building his career without distractions. Anyway, with a body like that and her empty head she needs to act the floor mat to keep a man like Kola.  She pretends to care, dropping in to see him at work once or twice every week and bringing her rock hard cakes to share out to the secretaries.  She’s won them all over, but me, I’m wiser.  I remember laughing out loud when I saw the note she left in Kola’s lunch box the other day, “sweets for my sweet”, not even an original thought.  Of course I took it out and shredded it, and I’ve done that with every note she’s left since.  Like I said, she’s a manipulator.  She invites me over for Sunday lunch once or twice each month, trying to ‘open her home to me’, what’s she trying to prove?  Is she trying to rub her perfect family in my face?  Show me what I’m missing?   She says I should feel at home.  Of course I do, it will be my own home soon.  It’s good she does so anyway; it gives me a chance to bond with Lara.  And that’s necessary seeing as I’ll soon be her mother.

Mr and the current Mrs Adebowale.  I sit here watching them at the Christmas party.  They’ve left their drinks with me the ‘help’ while they hobnob with the people that matter.  But what could my Kola possibly see in this drab creature?  He’s a good man, though, so he pretends to the world that he loves her like she is.  I mean, even now at the party there he is with his arm around her non-existent waist probably explaining the chairman’s joke to her as she looks on vacantly.  He must have spent the equivalent of my salary on her today and she still looks like my house girl, but there he is now looking into her eyes and laughing at one of her dry jokes.  No, she’s definitely bewitched him somehow and as his God appointed woman I have a responsibility to rescue him, and I will.

I glance at her again.  Pitiful creature.  She has nothing to live for, really.  And I know I’m doing her a favour as I pour the rat poison into her wine and then hug them both goodnight.  Tomorrow I’ll be there to offer Kola a shoulder to grieve on and Lara a mother to cry to.

Disclaimer: emmmm… broses in the house… Don’t let the story scare you from seeing my vision, oh.  But don’t worry, if it does I will save you.

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78 responses »

  1. Zeenike! Do you have any idea that I’m reading this at 6.39am in the morning? With the way I’m laughing, don’t make my neighbours whisk me off to the hospital at Yaba! ROTFLOL. Oh my word!

  2. LMAO!!!! What a fascinating plan you have there to save your boss? You almost convinced me he needed saving. Even our not so bright Nollywood female actors have told us how it is the best thing to go on ‘saving’ these Bosses/married men!
    For me I say, God save the Boss!
    *hilarious write-up!

  3. Lizi… Noooooooooooo! U got this story.. Please control it! A good one to share; a nasty one to hear! Now I’m suddenly afraid of all these smiling single ladies! Good one

  4. Ok. I have had it *if this is even a correct english*. Girl you rock. The narrator is insanely obsessed with Kola that she doesn’t even know she’s running mad. This is soooooo cool. Zee, ur write-up is so beautiful and so original. The imagery…..OMG. I’m so following ur blogspot. Please keep it coming.

  5. Wow! Quite interesting, she ȋ̝̊̅§ indeed a gud planner in her dream land. Sincerely such happens tho! Am an example, a certain girl so much admired my hubby n had d nerves to tell him, she wish dat oneday she wakes up to haer dat am dead. So dat she can go any length to marry him n become my daughter’s step mom. Desparadoes!!! Nice one babes.

  6. Good write up. Good arrangement. Couldn’t stop till I got to the last fullstop. Captivating, Interesting,…, I could go o and on. Please avail me the opportunity to read any other stories you have.

    • I’m so glad u liked it, thanx for stopping by! I’ve a few more here on this blog and I’ve promised my pple that I’ll respect my age and write some more. Follow me on twitter, @zeenike, if ur not already doing and I’ll let you know when I post new ones. Thanx again!

  7. May God save us from secretaries like her *sign of the cross*. Dayuuum!!! Madam Zeenike, this ya story sha…..anyway really good job, the story is quite graphic too! Nice one

  8. You can write sha,,..
    This character is so *evilz* InVicO’sVoice..lmao

    “he is with his arm around her non-existent waist ” that cracked me up..
    Nicely written.

  9. You definitely convinced me he needed saving. Story rocks but if I hear Kola was the one that drank that drink in part 2 I will shoot you with a Nollywood gun :p

    • Hi, Miss Omoye, thanx for coming round. My sister, women can be heartless, oh. Once we convince ourselves we are on the right path e don be for anyone in our way.

  10. Hahahahaha What an intresting story! More hit to ur armpit girl.:) looking forward to the next story. God save our Men $ We wives from unknown enemies oooo.lol

  11. The inner workings of the mind of a diabolical strange woman and home breaker. Take any movie about a woman breaking another woman’s home and project these thoughts into the antagonist’s mind and it would be apt!

    Very realistic of the psychopathic mindset of any wicked minded matrimonial usurper. We see how optimistic she stays despite all the odds that its a tight knit couple that can never be broken. The end is just chilling and horrifying, making your reader’s thoughts go amok over the things that would happen next.

    One thing I like about this story is the fact that it scares readers into taking cognizance of the importance of guarding your family from strange friends or acquaintances. What a smart didactic strategy, though I don’t know if this was your intention.

    Nice one zeenike!

  12. Dis lady has a serious psychological problem even if she does not know it; she urgently needs help. Why will she kill Mrs Adebowale becos she’s fantasizing about Mr Adebowale.

    • That’s the problem, u see. She’s lost like 2 nuts and isn’t even aware. It makes u wonder how many well dressed pple u pass on the road who have actually kolo and don’t know it.

    • Hehe! U dey fear? I’ve told everyone the solution, male secretaries for all! (including me…) Thanx for stopping by, Uzo, I really appreciate, when I grow up I want to be like you.

  13. Thumbs up Zeenike. Dis is a lovely piece. So real, I felt like I was watching everytin happening live. Keep up d good work dear.

  14. Ol girl…na nw I jus dey c dis tin, jus after I employed a secretary…smh….
    Anyway, always admired ur writing skills (roller coaster epistle comes to mind)…make sure I dnt miss anoda episode.
    Muuaaahhh!!!!!
    NB:im sure d secretary’s ass is also like a helmet…lol…

    • U see ur life??? Shey I warned u about a female secretary but the busuru in u refused 2 hear. U go soon know lol! I’m sure ur secretary too carry helmet, that must have been part of the qualifications – 2 years experience and ass like helmet. Ashewo ni e!

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