Tag Archives: NYSC

The Day My Life Ended


smileLook, I’m not being dramatic, my life is actually over.  Seriously.  You don’t believe me?  Fine, grab a seat and I’ll tell you the story.

It started the day they released us from Camp.  I swear down, the person that invented white and white will never know peace.  I had just wasted 2 weeks of my life living behind walls and being chased around by a bunch of good for nothing soldiers.  Even in secondary school I never had to frog jump!  A big shior to them all.  Anyway, that was all over and we’d been released into the wild, I was determined to cruise the rest of the year to the max.  I can’t shout, there was no way I was going to endure one full year in some water logged creek at the backyard of nowhere so I’d fought tooth and nail to get myself posted to town and it had worked.  As the only girl in the family Daddy and my brothers had showered me with wads of cash before I left home, so when we got to town I refused to join the mere mortals squashed together in the Corpers’ Lodge and decided to get a cab and find a hotel instead.  And on that one decision lie all my troubles of today. Read the rest of this entry


The Parable of the Jollof Rice


jollof rice

Written 19/11/2012, 1st published on ParadigmShiftNG

So last Sunday I woke up with this intense yearning for jollof rice.  It reminded me of one other Sunday like that back in Bayelsa during my Youth Service days. I’ll tell you the story.  Twas a bright and glorious Sunday morning and I simply couldn’t find the N50 I was to use for a bike to church so I decided to cook jollof rice instead.  I was broke as glass but at least I had the standard ingredients so I got to work.  Midway through the cooking I got a call from a fellow Corper who ‘was just around my side and was just checking to see if I was around’.  Now, if you’ve endured proper NYSC (not the ajebota fixed type) you’d know that that’s Corper-speak for “Babe, u get food 4 dat ur house so?”  So I said, “yeah, come over, I’m even cooking sef”.

Now, for some background gist.  This was like the latter half of the NYSC year and the well-meaning public had been drumming in our ears that we had better come back home with two certificates – one in paper form and one in man form, and this corper was a nice, handsome young man with a not-so-terrible job and some really good prospects, so the plan was to wow him with this my perfectly cooked jollof rice and hopefully get him to take the toasting to the next level.  Of course, am still single today so we know how that turned out. Read the rest of this entry